


cause feelings are painful, i don't want to suffer through

by wiseheartedloki



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (Also hints at Maki Himiko Shuichi and Kiibo), Gen, Hints at Miu and Angie's deaths (though no characters are named by name), I went OFF here, PLEASE DEAR GOD DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, Spoilers, This is just me kinning Tsumugi and typing it out btw, This is told in second person, Tsumugi REFUSES to see the others as real people, Tsumugi is. Hm. At least slightly suicidal., lmk if I need to tag smthn else, major ndrv3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiseheartedloki/pseuds/wiseheartedloki
Summary: I don't like when people put V3 in the same canon as 1 and 2 and include the killing game.(Spoilers, character death, etc. Please read the tags I beg of you)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	cause feelings are painful, i don't want to suffer through

You don't think it’ll be too long, now, not at this rate. You mean, isn’t this what you were waiting for, wishing for, hoping for, for as long as you could dream and wish and hope? Not  _ exactly _ this, maybe, but something similar. Danganronpa, death, a purpose.

They ask you, why not join them? Your death isn’t necessary. They can tell there’s something you’re dealing with (you doubt that, really, they just want someone who knows their way around the outside world) and they don't think you have to suffer. 

You’re already too attached to them, you nearly chide yourself, you weren’t supposed to care about them, weren’t supposed to be saddened by their deaths. Pink blood fills the deepest corners of your mind. Pink and blue, blue and yellow, lives (but not  _ really _ lives, you snap at yourself, they weren’t genuine) taken from this world. Your fault, you remind yourself, you caused everything here. It would never have happened had you not made them like that.

And still,  _ still _ , they surprise you, they catch you off-guard, they prove time and time again that they’re more than your writing, more than words in a browser and light in a false-memory device.

You never expected this. You’d heard masterminding was a difficult job, and you were sure you understood why - the blood, up close in person, all the deaths, all while having to remain not suspicious (until the very end, of course, because the protagonist always wins). But that’s not it. It’s not exactly guilt on your mind, you think, because guilt comes with a reason, guilt comes with something to be guilty over. It’s the feeling of… Maybe, you consider, for as long as you can before you start to believe it, maybe they’re real, in their own ways. They were characters, created and forced over real, living people. But their eyes were - and, as you look at the survivors,  _ are _ \- full of life, of determination and effort and the will to remain like that.

These people here lost so many people close to them - friends, rivals, loves, acquaintances - and by all odds, they should blame you for that. They don't understand, though, that doing that is as useless as a character cursing the author of their tale. It’s not real. But, and yet, they blame you. They hate you, you’re  _ sure _ that they want you dead. But… They don't act upon it. They try to save you, they’re  _ trying _ to  _ save you _ , and for what? For not having to lose another “life?” 

You can’t live in the world they’re going to make, you know. You fucked up. Big time. You barely have a place in your world, barely have room to live and breathe and hope and despair and  _ breathe _ . You haven’t, really, actually. That’s just how it is. The only thing there for you was Danganronpa. Not people, not places, not even your own self. But Danganronpa? It was something… Solid. You wouldn’t be yourself without Danganronpa, no matter how much they want to pretend you would. No matter how much these  _ creations _ want to act as though Danganronpa is a small road bump. It isn’t. It’s something more central to yourself and your life than that. It’s the mold upon which you built yourself.

What could you do, really, other than hoping to join the world and the characters and the  _ fiction _ with such an impact on you? What else do you have? No friends, no family (none who care, at least), no self… All you have is Danganronpa. All you have is this one scrap of hope and of self and you can’t live in a world where it’s just  **_gone_ ** , you can’t. 

They’re speaking, speaking something disgusting and filthy and riddled with  _ bad, bad, bad _ into the world. You don't listen. You can’t listen. What would you say? They aren’t real. Because, you think. If they’re real, what of you? What have you been looking for? Your life, your self, would be hopeless. You wouldn’t hurt a real person. And if you start thinking of  _ them _ as real, you can’t… You can’t justify your actions, your life, your happiness and your hope. 

You deny their request - you can’t live in a world without Danganronpa, you simply say. You won’t. You don't have anything left to you without Danganronpa. 

As the execution is readied, you think you realize why you were chosen. They said you were a perfect mastermind candidate. They want people without hope. Without happiness, without purpose, without self. Because when people are empty - not just empty of hope, empty of despair and of life and of- 

When people are empty, they search for anything to fill that. Yours was Danganronpa. You don't have anything else to your name. You never had hope, but you were never filled with despair, either. You were never anything, really, never anyone worth caring about. 

Weren’t you looking forward to this? To execution, or murder, or any kind of death, as long as it was in Danganronpa? Weren’t you looking forward to feeling something?

You can’t live in a world where people you’ve hurt, people you used to fill up your empty soul with  _ something _ , are real. You couldn’t handle that. So, they aren’t real. You won’t humor anything else. You yourself are barely real - barely, but still there - so you slot in perfectly among their story! And who knows, you think. Maybe Team Danganronpa will reign them in. You hope they will. You hope the only thing that gave your life meaning continues to exist. However, you think, right before you die, probably not. And that’s why  _ you _ have to die.


End file.
